True story

April 29, 2003 at 5:42 pm (General)

S and I went to that bustling hive of activity on the weekend, Kitchener, Ontario, to attend the wedding of one of S’s oldest friends. After driving for over six hours, we finally pull in to the Holiday Inn. As you may have noticed, Holiday Inn often has a billboard welcoming its more ‘interesting’ guests, and this weekend was no different. As I got out of the car, I notice the billboard, which announces to everyone driving by:
Welcome Cheerleading Participants
I kid you not. The place was over-run with a few hundred pubescent girls, who ranged in age from about 14 to 17. Everywhere you looked there was a sea of young women with pert breasts, tight butts, taut tummies, overly made up, some of them spending most of their time either in the pool or by the phone.
It was hell.
Every guy attending the wedding was automatically accused of being lecherous, of going out of his way to sneak a peek, of entertaining lascivious, pedanphilic thoughts. I couldn’t even get up to, um, go to the bathroom without some joke being made about being a dirty old man. It was rough, I tell ya.

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